Schmidt's career likely comes to an end

So Jason Schmidt has been moved to the 60 day DL for all eternity to make room for our clubhouse cancer Vicente Padilla. That move caps a 3 year telenovela that didn't quite end the way most hopeful fans envisioned it would. L-Ram had dreams of Russ Martin lifting Schmidt off the mound after the final pitch of the 2009 World Series much like Dempsey did Orel back in '88.

While that scenario has no chance of playing out, I'm glad this is over. Colletti can finally move on and look for that next aging liability, or below average "veteran" to throw millions of dollars at so that we may watch in amazement as they underperform, or succumb to some preexisting condition.

Conte, since getting bamboozled by Jason Schmidt, has hired Will Hunting and gone on a scientific odyssey in an effort to discover why players get hurt. The Dodgers could've easily given me a six pack of Coronas and, after a glimpse at his injury history, would've determined that Mr. Schmidt was going to get hurt again and again, but I don't have a PhD, nor am I El Indio Amazonico, so my opinion means fuckall.

We can now put this behind us until next time, and we can now focus on the inevitable collapse of the Dodgers as they will soon face the following superteams:

  • Reds
  • Diamondbacks
  • Padres
  • Giants
  • Pittsburgh
  • Nationals.
This year they've been phenomenal against their sub .500 National league counterparts (31-17), but I still have a gut feeling that they'll fail to take care of business in the final month, and they'll close out the season by sneaking in as the Wild Card only to get booted out of the playoffs by the Cardinals in the first round.

If I'm right, I'll fucking hate myself.