There's Always Next Year

As L-Ram is currently in the ICU after slicing his inner thigh shortly after last night's game, he scribbled these notes on his bedpan for me to transcribe into coherent sentences, along with my hilariously forced interjections:

Best Biased Moment: Manning's TD throw to put the Colts up 10-0. If only I knew then that it would be the happiest moment of the night for me.


Best Non-Biased Moment: The Saints carrying Payton on their shoulders after the Gatorade shower and imagining Jerry Jones watching at home punching himself for choosing Wade Phillips over Payton.

Firstly, Wade Phillips is the second coming of Jimmy Johnson, albeit fluffier. Just you wait. Also, it seems your boy Sean Payton has a case of vertigo as he seriously pleaded to be put down after the players scooped him up.


Hero: No doubt, it has to be Drew Brees. He was excellent last night.

I agree with this. The guy was on point. The Colts took away the deep ball, but thanks to an o-line that gave him 3 days to throw the ball, he always found the open man.

The Goat: I'm going with Hank Baskett. Not only do you marry the most annoying of Hefner's ex-girlfriends, not only did you get cut by an Eagles team that has no WR depth and getting a 2nd chance with the Colts, you still cough up the ball on an onside kick when no Saints player was within 5 yards of you. I hate you, Hank Baskett.

My goat is the Colts offensive playcalling after the goal line stand in the 2nd quarter. It's times like that where you've just demoralized the opposition that you want to step on their throat. Instead, we saw a couple of running plays in an effort to milk the clock. While I was rooting for the Colts, I was glad to see the Saints capitalize on such poor recognition of an opportunity.

Turning Point: Most people are going with the onside kick, but for me, I got a bad feeling when the Colts, leading 17-16 at the time, sent 42 year old Matt Stover out to attempt a 51-yard FG. Its never a good sign when your kicker's age is within 10 years of a 50 yard FG. Predictably, Stover misses, the Saints get the ball on the 40 yard line, and march down for a TD to take a lead they don't give up.

The balls of steel it took to call an onside kick demonstrated such recklessness that Payton had to win this game otherwise he'd look like an incredible dumbass of dinosauric proportions. Fortunately for him, WIDE RECEIVER Hank Baskett made sure to leave his "stick-em" in the locker room and assure that Sean Peyton will be remembered as an offensive genius.

Bitchassness Moment: Darren Sharper lagging behind and talking shit to Peyton as he passed him on Porter's interception return for a TD. You just clinched the game, no need to be an ass about it Sharper!

My bitchassness moment goes to the referees for their unwillingness to call the block from behind on Manning by Bobby McCray. Would it have changed the outcome of the game? Who knows. The Colts weren't exactly a defensive stalworth but the video's below if you missed it :

Best Commerical: I'm a sucker for Betty White, so I'm going with the Snickers commercial. Showing Abe Vigoda at the end was just icing on the cake.

I loves me some Abe Vigoda, but truTV wins one internet with their commercial featuring Punxsutawney Polamalu:


[/L-Ram Transmission]

In the end, L-Ram was devastated, and I was saved from any bragging that would've driven me insane over the next few months. I guess now we'll have to focus on baseball although I've neglected to read pretty much any Dodger related news in quite a while so I'm rusty. Good thing I don't do any number crunching, or provide any insight that isn't already out there -- HOORAY FOR PHOTOSHOP AND VIDEO CLIPS!

Colts-Saints Superbowl = I Win

The Colts overcame an early 17-6 Jets lead, to come back and win it 30-17. Peyton Manning had one of the best playoff performances of his career throwing for 377 yards, 3 touchdowns, and no picks. The Jets kept blitzing and while it did give the Colts problems in the beginning, Indy eventually figured it out and Peyton made the Jets pay. Great games from both Austin Collie and Pierre Garcon, not to mention the fact that the Colts defense did a great job containing the Jets running attack.

In the NFC championship game, that ol' gunslinger Brett Favre added to his list of legendary playoff interceptions by throwing a horrible pick with 15 seconds left in the game with the ball on the Saints 33. He could have at least let his kicker miss the FG so the blame would fall on him, but ol' Brett wanted to hog the spotlight for himself. The Vikings never saw the ball again as the Saints won it 31-28 in their first possesion of OT.

That sets up a great matchup of Colts-Saints in the Super Bowl. I want Manning to win his 2nd championship, but I'm not going to be mad if the Saints win. Drew Brees was shunned by the both the Chargers and the Dolphins, their best receiver was a guy taken in the 7th round (Marques Colston) and there's also the whole Hurricane Katrina-Superdome thing (which the media will play on a continuous loop for 2 weeks). It's tough to root against the Saints, but my love for Manning is just a bit greater. However, I will show my support for both teams, by having one of those split jerseys made, which Ferio made a quick artist's rendering of:




Now if you'll excuse me, I need to place my order at the swap meet to make sure this is ready in 2 weeks.

Congratulations Colts and Saints

Firstly, I'd like to congratulate L-Ram's Colts, and the Saints who will be playing in the Super Bowl in 2 weeks.

My moneyline bet on the Jets looked like a stroke of genius after the first quarter of the Colts-Jets game, but shortly thereafter, Peyton Manning remembered who he was, and picked apart the Jets secondary like Ron Coomer working on a whole barbecued chicken from Costco.

As for the NFC Championship game, I was glad to see the Minnesota Favres crash and burn and I'll make a prediction in the form of an image.

That, and Peter King will devote a 4 page article to Favre's legacy, and potential for coming back next season.

As for the Super Bowl, I've already purchased my form-fitting Colts t-shirt (which is a poor choice for my portly self) and will be posing as a die-hard fan hopefully somewhere public because I desperately seek approval from my peers.

In other news, Club America's star forward Salvador Cabañas is currently in critical condition after being shot in the head during an attempted robbery of an upscale bar in Mexico City last night. He was conscious when he was taken to the hospital and all updates seem to be positive so I hope he turns out okay.

Red Wings Fans Are Nervous, Possibly Suicidal?

Hockey's Detroit Red Wings have made the playoffs 18 consecutive years, usually at the top of the Western Conference. It's the longest active playoff streak in any of the four major sports. So, it must be quite a shock to Red Wings fans when they see that their team is tied for the final playoff spot with about 30 games left in the season.

Apparently, the pressure is getting to them because before the start of the 3rd period of the Kings-Red Wings game, the game was delayed due to a fan who climbed the rafters and refused to come down:



The refs decided to start the game, but the section directly beneath the guy had to be cleared out in case he did decide to do something stupid:




They never announced what happened to the guy, but I assume he was talked down, because by the end of the game, fans were back in their seats. Even worse, the Red Wings were winning 2-1 when the guy decided to climb the rafters. They ended up losing 3-2. Someone needs to check on him ASAP!

'Dilla Time Extended

As the leading source for Vicente Padilla news (a simple Google image search for "Chente Padilla" will confirm this) I feel bad for not acknowledging the latest 1 year deal reached just yesterday.

The club and the 32-year-old right-hander agreed to a one-year contract. According to baseball sources, the deal is worth $5.025 million -- a $4.025 million base salary and $1 million signing bonus.

L-Ram brought it to my attention, and called me the c-word for not posting about it so here it is...if you can even read any of this with the distracting anigif above.TEH ANIGIF PWNS JUR EYES!

With this news, 4 out of 5 spots in the Dodgers rotation are now set. The 5th spot will be filled by a spry Ismael Valdez during spring training. You heard it here first! The first run of "Si Se Puede" t-shirts will be done just in time for the World Cup.

Sincerely yours,
Ferioso (in case you didn't know so).
xoxo